Hi. I’m Dr. Valerie Baker. You are watching my vlog. Today, I’m going to talk to you about the real danger of stress. I promise you this is not what you think. I’m going to talk about a great spiritual danger of stress. That one in turn causes the symptoms that you’re used to hearing about, such as health-related, financial, relationship, and career consequences of that great spiritual danger of stress.
I’m going to give you some tools to cut through stress easily and effectively. I’m going to remind you, or maybe talk to you for the first time about why it is not your fault that stress is so habitual. We are all in the same boat in our society. We are so conditioned to stress. I’m going to explain to you why we are conditioned to stress. It’s like a spell that we are all under and it is related to that great spiritual danger of it. I’m going to demystify this and give you some suggestions for how to effectively release that spell for good.
What’s on the other side of stress? Why do you want to get rid of it? The greatest magic–really, everything that you want from life–is just on the other side of stress. If you remember from last week’s vlog, I described stress as the state of resisting reality.
In this state, we are closed. We are closed off and nothing can come in or out. We know that we are closed off because our mind is closed. We are telling ourselves a story that causes anxiety, depression and causes some addictive behaviors and causes us to feel bad about ourselves or about our life situation and this really sucks.
We feel it in the body. We feel muscular tension. We feel it in the breathing because it becomes shallow and irregular. We see it in our behavior because we try to escape the uncomfortable situation through behaving such as overeating or indulging in drinking, other substance, use TV, sex, shopping, anything that we use to escape. Work is a fine escape tool. It’s important to recognize it for what it is.
Why do we need to combat stress, allow ourselves to go from closed to open? Because when we do this, the greatest magic opens up for us. We become basically indestructible, because life takes us by the hand and gives us its greatest gifts, helps us to tap into our greatest gifts and bring them out fully into the world. Things like self-esteem, confidence, self-doubt, all of those become non-issues when we are tapped into that current of life that moves us when we get that ego out of the way. Those things only exist in the dimension of the ego where we feel constricted and closed off. That’s all part and parcel of stress and the tools to get out of this state are so easy.
Before I go any further, I’d like to express my deepest gratitude to you for watching my vlog. If you’ve seen my last week’s vlog, I have shared something deeply personal, the biggest stress of my life over the past year. I’ve received such an outpouring of support and love and offers of help. I’m so deeply moved. If you’ve commented and if you’ve said something along the lines of “I admire how strong and resilient you are,” I want to say thank you. It is true to the extent that it’s true about you, but sometimes you may not feel like you are strong or resilient. We forget.
Again, this spell of forgetfulness is stress. We get sucked into that state of stress. We forget who we really are. That is the great danger of stress that we forget who we really are. We are disconnected from our true self, our true reality which is abundant, which is indestructible, which is joy, which is connected with everyone and everything and all times. It’s stress and this illusion of our egos being small and separate from everything else that keep us stuck in the state of unhappiness and settling for the life that we don’t like.
I want to also say, back to the comments that I’ve seen that really moved me. Somebody said, “I understand your point about resisting reality, but I need to resist my reality because I hate my job. If I don’t resist that reality, I’ll end up settling for it.” This is such a brilliant point.
I want to make that distinction and I hope you really hear this. I’ll try to explain as best I can. Resisting reality and settling for your current life situation, they are actually part of the same parcel. It may feel to you that because you don’t like your current reality you need to resist it and that’s your way out. The opposite is actually true.
What you need to do is accept your reality, open up, get rid of that stress of resisting, open up so that you tap into creative solutions. You tap into bigger vision for your life. You connect with your heart’s desire and none of it is possible when you are resisting reality and you are closed off. Does that make sense? Let me know in the comments if this makes sense to you.
If there is anything that you feel you may be settling for in your life inadvertently for different reasons, maybe because you are not ready to make a change or maybe you don’t feel like you can. Maybe it’s even too painful to think big and dream big because you feel like it’s not for you. You’ll never get there or maybe somebody around you is telling you, “No, it’s not for you.” Tell me if there is any such thing in your life that you feel that you’ve outgrown, but you are still settling for whatever reason. I would love to support you in making that breakthrough.
Just like you said about me about my strength and resilience that you saw in the situation, the only thing I did was to eventually snap out of that resistance and denial and begin using the tools that I’ve shared with you in my last video. I’ll share more tools with you today on how to release stress.
I also want to share with you some magic because some of you commented you wanted to know more about our trip to see John of God and what happened. John of God is a Brazilian medium. He doesn’t refer to himself as a healer. He says “I’m a medium and I channel Entities of Light.” Who are those Entities of Light? They are actual people who lived on earth and were healers. When they passed on, their spirits felt that they wanted to keep on doing the work. John of God makes himself available as a channel for these Entities of Light to assist them in healing people.
When we came there, we realized on some level very quickly that we really could not be closed-minded, closed-hearted. In order for this to work, we needed to be really open and receptive to be in this current of energy, this current of healing. It’s just a sight to see if you ever get a chance. If you want to know more about this, I might make a whole separate episode just on that experience, it’s really very special. Everybody wears white and people congregate in meditation halls where they stay in the current and they support it by meditating.
John of God performed something that he calls a spiritual surgery. When you are in this current, there is an intervention that happens and when you leave, you are told not to do anything strenuous, to relax and sleep. I thought “Whatever.” When we left, I was very surprised to feel that I had no energy, that I could not do anything. I had to lie down and my husband felt the same way. There is something real that’s happening on the physical level as well. I don’t have an explanation to it. The only thing I want to say about it, again, back to the magic that happens when you stop doing this (closing) and you start doing this (opening) in your body, your mind, your behavior and your breath. If you remember, these are the four domains that you can intervene in, in order to go from the stressed and closed to the open and relaxed state.
This is an example of the magic that happened. When we returned from this trip, and mind you John of God also says, “I don’t do the healing. Doctors do the healing, but I help to remove obstacles to it.” A very interesting point.
Often times, healing doesn’t happen for us because there are some internal obstacles that need to be removed. Although I don’t work with physical ailments like that, just from my own experience and my own life and my clients’ experiences, I can see how their health states have shifted once they’ve opened their minds, they’ve opened their bodies, and learned how to breathe and behave in ways that promoted that state of consciousness that allows them to stay fully present in that current of healing.
You don’t need to go to Brazil to be in that kind of healing, although you can and it’s a wonderful opportunity. This current is available to us at all times. All we need to do is to open and receive and let life take us by the hand. We cannot do this when we are stressed.
What happened when we came back that I could attribute to our trip, although we’ll never know for sure. Tom, who had no diagnosis for a long time, having seen every possible doctor, was connected with a doctor who diagnosed him for the first time. He identified the nature of his neurological condition and hopefully the course of treatment is in sight.
Whether or not you are going through something big and stressful in your life right now or you are experiencing the barrage of everyday little stressors that make you go like this–closing in your mind, body, breathing and behavior, I have some tools for you that are very easy and I’d like to share with you.
Often people ask me, “Okay, at the end of the day, I’m so wound up. I can’t sleep. What can I do?” I say, “Not much.” You need to do something throughout the day in order to get to that point at the end of the day where you can relax and unwind. I’m going to share with you a couple of breathing practices that are very easy that you can do throughout the day to keep your nervous system from being all the way in the sympathetic activation, in the stressed-out state, and bring it to parasympathetic activation, which is a relaxed state.
Yogic breathing techniques are very powerful. If you feel dizzy or lightheaded at any point, just return your breath to normal.
A couple of techniques I’m going to demonstrate for you today. One is excellent for relaxing the muscles that are habitually tensed from habitual stress. As you know, it affects the posture too. There is a slight rounding on the shoulders that happens. Our muscles shortened here in this area (upper chest).
Even before you do this breathing practice, you can do something simple like connect your hands behind your back and breathe into this area allowing it to open up and begin to release. Just do it for a few deep breaths. When you return to seated, just notice if there is more space. You can also move your arms, rotate your shoulders. You can move side to side allowing your arms to dangle. This all allows more movement here and allows more breath to come in.
A breathing technique I want to introduce to you today is called staircase breathing. You can watch me demonstrate and then follow along. Inhale fully, exhale fully, and at the bottom of the exhale, begin to inhale in little sips as if you are climbing a staircase going up and a long exhale going down. And again. Climb the stairs up, and on the exhale, glide down the mountain. And then we’ll reverse the sequence, the pattern. Inhale a long breath and exhale little steps. Inhale a long breath, exhale little steps and then return your breath to normal. Do it for two or three rounds to experience the full benefit.
Another very simple and discrete technique is quite simply breathing in on the count of four, breathing out on the count of four. You might have heard this before. It is a really fine way to also center your mind because when the breathing is regular, the mind also stays centered and you might notice that your thoughts also shift without you having to do anything about this.
In my next video, I’ll share with you more tools that you can use for your mind directly. Please ask me any questions.
Would you like more tools for the mind, for the body, for the breathing or behavior? Which is the area where you’d like to intervene to undo the stress?
The last point that I want to make. I want to circle back to why stress is so dangerous. Because when we are closed off, we are disconnected from ourselves, from our true self. We are disconnected from others. We are disconnected from the current of our own lives. This is the greatest danger. Everything else follows, right?
When you have financial trouble, it’s because you are disconnected. You are disconnected from yourself, from your true powers, including the powers to unleash financial abundance. When you experience health problems, that may also have something to do with stress. Relationship problems, you bet. When you are fully relaxed, when you are fully connected with yourself, all you see in other people is beauty. All you see in yourself is beauty. You are comfortable in your own skin. This is a greatest gift that we all have in life is to be comfortable in our own skin.
We get disconnected from this gift by cultural conditioning that tells us that we are not enough or we are too much or we are just plain wrong. This is why–something that I’ve alluded to in the beginning of this video–this is why it is so hard to overcome this conditioning to stay stressed. This is why we have to use these tools and we need a community of people who support us in this work. For me now, you are this community. I feel accountable to you to show up every week and share with you from my toolbox and tell you how I’m going with my stress.
I encourage you to connect with like-minded people. You can join my Facebook group. You’ll find like-minded people there. And you can stay connected to this vlog. I hope that you comment. I will stay in conversation with you. I’ll answer any questions that you have.
I want to encourage you to set an intention, a very revolutionary intention for the rest of the year and for the new year to stay connected with your true self. To keep working to overcome this cultural conditioning that keeps us separated from ourselves. Keeps us under the spell of this delusion that we are not enough, that we are not good enough. We are too much. There is something wrong with this.
As a matter of fact, you are an absolute perfection manifest, but this cultural conditioning, this delusion keeps you in the state of forgetfulness. That state is accountable for pretty much every problem that you may be encountering in life, and the same is true for me. We are all in the same boat. Thank you so much for being here today. Thank you for being a precious part of Your True Selfie tribe.
Sending you much love from my heart to yours and looking forward to reading your comments and responding.
Have a fabulous week.
Stay in your heart.