Hi there. I’m talking to you today after a major transformative life experience. I had a chance to be a speaker on the main stage of a New York City event, Rock Your Voice, Woman! Live. The keynote speaker was Marianne Williamson. There were a lot of just amazing, inspiring, soul-centered women.
I’m going to let you in behind the scenes and tell you exactly how this came to be. What’s even more important is what happens after a big leap like this.
A week before the event I did not have my talk, and I did not have my book. It took me exactly one week to write and produce, publish, have a physical copy for everybody in the event, of my book, Reclaim Your Truth, and create a TED-style talk, 15-minute talk, on reclaiming your truth. It’s actually quite a challenge to create a 15-minute talk because it’s hard to be succinct and to the point.
It took me a week from having none of that to having all of that, and sharing the stage with a spiritual icon such as Marianne, and meeting her in person, and giving her my book, and receiving a signed copy of her book from her. What enabled me to do it all in one week was a lot of preparation and the capacity to be really a clear channel for this to go through, trusting that it can happen and doing the work to make it happen. I did not stress at all about publishing the book. I participated in the flow fully and it came to be. It was actually very similar to giving birth. When you’re pregnant and you do, guess what? It’s happening. It’s happening because you’re having these contractions and this is your life participating in the creative process with you.
What’s important for me to share with you today, I feel, is what happens after this great expansion, after experiencing this amazing breakthrough in such a short period of time. Because this is what I see happening with a lot of women entrepreneurs, that’s what’s keeping us from taking big leaps.
What happens when this expansion occurs rapidly, there’s a sense of disorientation. It’s like stepping out of your house in your best party outfit, going on this great day-long party adventure, and then coming back just to discover that you’ve locked yourself out permanently. You can’t get back in. You’re stuck in your most visible, most beautiful outfit, but you’re also outside of the familiar.
What happens there is that you discover that it’s not comfortable because it’s outside of the familiar. What’s more is that some people who have been there for you in need, your friends in need, cannot be there for you in success. They cannot, because they’re uncomfortable with their own success and they’re projecting something onto you. They just cannot be there with you in that space. That’s disorienting too.
In that limbo state, you lose yourself. You lose your habitual self and you lose your habitual environment as well. It requires you to very quickly create a new circle and orient yourself, your mind, body, spirit, to this new state of being. You need a whole new different set of tools. Because if you don’t, you’re going to experience a rubber band effect: you’re going to start self-sabotaging. That happens a lot, just to go back to the familiar, smaller state of a smaller expression of you.
In order to push through and continue with the bigger and bigger and bigger, and more expansive expression of your true talents and gifts that the world needs, and your life demands of you…
The consequences of not going into the fullest expression are dire. The consequences, all these problems that we’re experiencing day to day, we’re just not realizing that these are the consequences of us settling for a smaller state. All the problems in the money department, relationships, and health as well, and mental health. Depression, anxiety, addictions, these are all consequences of us not participating fully in the fullest expression of our gifts that our life demands of us. That was actually the topic of my talk, Reclaiming Your Truth.
…We need tools and we need a community to continue this uprising to our truth, to support each other in that, to create a high tide that lifts all boats. Because our society is not at all set up for that. This society creates the conditioning that keeps us playing small, the conditioning that keeps us settling for less than the truly happy, fulfilled, and abundant life that’s our birthright that we’re here to live.
I’m here to share this message with you that when you’re pushing yourself to a greater expansion, expect that it’s going to be uncomfortable. Not only that, you’re going to experience a sense of loss and there will be some grieving involved. The loss of your self, your habitual self, it’s like you locked yourself out of your home.
Another part of this loss is your friendships with people. That’s painful and you’re not prepared for that because you want everybody to celebrate with you. There will be some people who will, and they are truly, truly your soul sisters and are truly amazing. By celebrating your success they are letting the universe know that they are ready for their own success. That’s a beautiful thing.
A few takeaways that you can apply to yourself right now. If you see somebody who is successful, what’s your first reaction? Are you happy? Are you genuinely celebrating with them or are you thinking or feeling kind of left out and comparing yourself to them, and there’s this fear of missing out, fear of not getting something? This is something to work through. This is a projection letting you know that you’ve disowned that part of yourself that is bigger than the game you’re playing right now. You need to bring it out. You need tools for that. You need community, you need guidance, you need support in creating that.
Another takeaway is, are you self-sabotaging when you’re on the verge of success? Are you keeping yourself from taking the big leap? Or, after you’ve done something courageous, you put yourself out there in a bigger way, do you experience a rubber band effect? Are you drawn back into the old, familiar patterns? It’s like when we start a weight loss journey, lose a couple of pounds, five pounds, 10 pounds, and then oops. Start ramping up the eating, start slacking on the exercise routine. It certainly happens to me.
Why? Because there is this rubber band effect when we step into a greater opening, into the greater expression of our full, unobstructed light and unobstructed truth. That’s disorienting, that’s painful. The change is not comfortable, but not a little bit uncomfortable. That’s actually petrifying. Because it feels like losing who you are and sometimes losing or having your relationships feel different and transformed too. That is petrifying.
My message for you today is meant to validate your journey. When you’re self-sabotaging, these are protective forces preventing you from taking a leap that feels life-threatening. That’s a real, real feeling. That’s your nervous system. That’s your amygdala sending a signal creating the fight or flight response.
Your mindset work is not going to get you out of this. Mindset work is not going to make a dent. You can psyche yourself into doing something, but if your subconscious believes contrary to what you are saying in your mindset and affirmations and what not, it’s actually going to complicate the issue. Because when the subconscious mind is trying to be overridden with a conscious message such as an affirmation or a new mindset, it pushes back. The more you push against it, the more it pushes back. It actually aggravates the problem. Then you won’t know what hit you when you start to really self-sabotage.
Now, I’m telling you that to pay attention, to pay attention to the subtle things in which your body and your spirit and your mind work together. These are the pathways. In Heart Talk Yoga we work through the mind, the body, and the spirit. Sometimes bypassing the mind completely, not even bothering with mindset work, is the most effective, the most direct route. By working on calming down the nervous system so that it can handle the impact of this leap, handle the impact of change, and the greater flow that you’re stepping into, you’re becoming a stronger channel.
It’s like when you need to update your electric in your house. If you’re in an old house and you have a lot of modern appliances, you have to upgrade the electric. That’s what’s happening with the body. Mindset work does not do that, it’s not your best tool: quite frankly, a waste of time in my book. With working directly with the nervous system, with the body, and using the tools that go to the core of our primal conditioning, intergenerational DNA really, and unpacking that, and rewiring that, and upgrading that system, oh goodness, you become completely unstoppable. You become upper-limitless. It’s best done in a strong community.
What I’m considering now, I feel very strongly drawn because I see this need in the community of women entrepreneurs, I’m drawn to create a very, very tight, very small mastermind. The goal will be to step into the state of being upper-limitless through this work on the nervous system, through the work of supporting each other in using Heart Talk Yoga tools to take bigger and bigger leaps without experiencing the rollback and the rubber band effect, so that our gifts can be expressed fully so our life can stop giving us unsettling problems—that are meant for us to step into the bigger destiny—in the money, health, relationship departments. We can just fully participate with life, no excuses and no self-sabotage, no procrastination, none of that crap that wastes so much energy. Life is short.
You can shoot me an email. This is me announcing this for the first time, by the way. You can shoot me an email, email@example.com and let me know. Let me know if you may be at a state of plateau in your business. You’ve been successful already but you feel there is a bigger mission, a bigger vision, and there is just something you’re trying to reach but you’re not quite there. Or you take a bigger leap and then you roll back. There is some self-sabotage coming up.
Let me know if you may be in that zone. Let’s talk about how we can create a high tide that lifts all boats, gathering as a small mastermind group, breaking through the upper limit barriers once and for all. Let me know in the comments what you think about it, and shoot me an email if you want to have a conversation with me. Let’s vision together. The world needs your true gifts. It will not settle for less, and neither should you. Your life won’t let you settle anyway, so why prolong the suffering of useless problems? Just step into your greater destiny.
In order to do that, you do need to fortify your nervous system, rewire your DNA, rewire your subconscious programming up here. We can do it with Heart Talk Yoga tools and the community of kindred spirits.
I love you. Thank you so much for being here. I look forward to having that conversation.
Stay in your heart.